Drunkenness Leads To Krayzie-Ness

I got myself lost in my world when they started playing the Brown Eyes song at the beginning of the wedding night.

Remember the first day when I saw your face
Remember the first day when you smiled at me
You stepped to me and then you said to me
I was the woman you dreamed about

Lost my appetite and had myself focused on the wedding video instead of enjoying the costly food. Sort of like watching a true Cinderella Love Story - Vincent the Prince Charming found Pauline the Princess - all perfect.

I know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you see he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause its obvious

Again, it was a mixed feeling. I was indeed glad for them as the both of them are my closed ones. Unhappiness felt too, especially when thinking of lost love.

Remember the first day you fell in love with me? It felt so good for you to say those words cause I felt the same way too.

Watching the video closely, I tried to picture myself on my wedding day. And I wondered who would be my groom. I tried ignoring all negative feelings because wedding day is not the right time to be sad but instead we are to be happy and merry.

The red wine was my bestfriend that night - it was my first time taking in red wine and I gulped greedily. Too bad I didn't get the chance to drink X.O and Hennessy. Blame this to Thomson, sitting beside me, he controlled me and acted like a Tai Kor.

Later that night, something I least wished for happened. It was all embarrassing and uncool - just because one man was drunk. To save his good name, I'll not reveal it here. Just my apology to Krayzie D and gang.

They say drunkenness leads to foolishness - This time they are right.

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You Can’t Have Both

He asked me to stay knowing I planned to leave him. Can’t you understand, why I distant myself from you?

This is so hard. And I know when I shut myself up from him. I know our relationship will grow cold. Because just like flowers, all relationships need some watering to blossom.

But as much as I really like him to be my special someone. I can’t bring this further. It’s really hurting me deep.

You can’t have both, Hodey. I don’t want to be the bad girl in the scene. Yes, clearly you love her. Seeing how you kissed her proved it all. I was there trying to hide the jealousy and sorrow when nobody really understood. There, I realized where I really stand.

It’s falling apart... though I know it can be saved with my little steps, I’m letting you go. I’ll try to mention your name less and less. I’m gonna forget you. We shall act as though we’ve never met. Let’s cut it.

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Wonder Why God Gives Us Two?

Tomorrow it will be Vincent & Pauline's big special day - the day when the two are united as one.

Ever wonder why God gives us two?
A right hand to show the left what to do.
One ear to listen and one to hear
the problems of others,
their laughter and fears.
One eye to watch and one to behold
the beautiful treasures
that life has to hold.
One foot to travel and one to stand tall.
Two feet to land on if we should fall.
One man to stand by a woman's side;
One woman to cherish being his bride.
The love between partners
comes shining through
and that is the reason
God has made two.

By the way, I'm assigned to be the Chief Usher.

My tasks for the day will be:

Walk with Mummy and bring her to the VIP front seat.

Plus ask YOU to sign on this guestbook. :)

To those who are not coming, you may leave down your adorable, sincere signatures and regards to the both of them, right here, yes, virtually! ;)

P/S: Will update and post wedding photos for sure, possibly in my next post. Till then.

xoxo

JustJasmine,

The Chief Usher

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Old Love Vs Young Love

Lilian worked overtime today. So I headed myself to KFC straight after college, and kept myself occupied there from 6pm to 9pm. Alone on my table, I just watched my surroundings while eating there.

Interestingly, something caught my attention, so I seized and captured the moment!

How to find a love like this?

Feel like going to someone's arms but I am aware that I am just too dirty now. A while ago, LC told me that if I'm lonely he'll hug me and be my company. Sounds a little sweet, but to trust or not to trust? - Maybe he was just kidding. I don't know whether to take what he said personally or otherwise. Since the day SG went away, I'm not fully ready to open my doors to any young guys anymore.

Young lovers scare me nowadays...

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Seeing You, It Kills Me Now

I have revealed that Pauline, my sister is getting married. I have kinda dealt with the matter that she's leaving me for the better, that is to start a new life. But now come another part, it's gonna be another celebration of love - a wedding. 

Sad to say, I'll be again reminded of the day someone went away, the day Hodey left me for someone else, in a wedding. Since that day, I have developed a wedding phobia.

So now, it's Pauline & Vincent's wedding. Like expected, they are going to invite family members, relatives, friends plus people they know - and those they know, I know too. Here just have to admit, I'm actually not ready to see the faces of few people they have invited. Yeap, people that I hate are gonna be there as well. For some reasons, I just H.A.T.E them. I'm not being unreasonable here, but the reasons are really private.

Mr Submit once told me that if we don't love our neighbours, Hell is the place for us, simply because Heaven is a place where everyone's happy happy together together and loves others unconditionally. Although I'm now no pious, I'm aware that there's truth in what he said. Yet, I know in this I fail miserably. Still not yet cleansed, there's deep bitterness within. We know, a place named Heaven is not suitable for me.

I told myself today that I'd rather be in Hell rather than meet those hypocrites in that wedding. But there's no other option other than attending Pauline's wedding. You see, she's my sister and somemore the first one to get married. No matter how much I dislike seeing those unwanted faces, I must be there to see the beautiful bride's face. 

For the sake of giving face to Pauline, I'll be there. Let's just hope that I won't come back with a report similar to this.

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When You Say Nothing At All

I went for one memorable event where Hodey, Nary, Mhico were there as well, a bitter place where Mhico warned me publicly not to disturb Hodey anymore. 

 (Mhico is one insecure married lady. She is close to Nary. Both of them are married and are about the same age. As they share quite a number of things in common, they click well. In short, Mhico and Nary are besties.)

Indirectly, she was calling me slut and bitch. Almost everyone heard what she told me quite so loudly. Nary heard it and she was happy and smiled that Mhico supported her. 

 I pretended as though not hearing Mhico. Inside I couldn’t help but to feel darn upset that Hodey failed to defend me. He didn’t utter a word at all. The blame seemed to be on me alone.

Why did you treat me that way? It was like you’re not serious at all. As though I’m the only one after you, just a stupid toy for you to play with when Nary is too busy for you.

I'm not cheap. 

I’m not a slut. 

I’m not a bitch. 

I’m just your girl. 

You say it worst when you say nothing at all.

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Save The Best For The Last

Seeing him with her doesn't put a smile on my face at all. But I know that this is reality and I have to face it no matter what. He'll be happier if I learn to treat her right too. Yes, I fight and question why will she get almost everything better. From time to time, I desire what she gets.

When he's not around, loneliness is what I feel and I hope he could be beside me. He told me that in case I'm in need of anything, I can come to him and he'll give me a helping hand if he can. Happy to hear that, but I know I want something else - which he won't be able to provide, it's just not right.

He later sat beside me and we had a heart to heart talk.

He told me, "...because you're still a virgin. It's not that I don't love you but you should keep that for someone else. Save the best for the last."

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